Corkscrew

Mad Kane informs us that on this day in 1860,  New Yorker M.L. Byrn patented a corkscrew design.

 
hats off to Byrne and his fine
invention for opening wine
an aid to decanting
that obviates ranting
or even a reason to whine

VisDare #1

This picture strikes me as being pretty much intractable.  I've pondered it for a few days, and this is not only the best I can come up with, it's ALL I can come up with.

And I usher in the new and improved 150 word limit by using a paltry 45.

Lo siento.

Sure, and I've had some bad dates before.

And maybe this isn't even the first time I've been left out on a ledge by one of 'em.

But I never thought I'd ever get stood up by some flighty girl what calls 'erself Mary Poppins!

Visual Dare 35

Conference

Source

OK, boys, knockin' off that bakery was a piece of cake - and we didn't even have to ice nobody, neither.   But we still need dough.  Look, we're better bred than that, so we gotta rise up to somethin' bigger, see.  Listen to me, 'cuz this aint no pie in the sky. So what do you say, boys - if you guys got the crust, everybody gets a slice.  Now - are we goin' after Lego-Land or the candy store?

But you, Shorty, you gotta stay home.  I'm tired of you loafin'.


Visual Dare 35

And in Other News

The world seems not to have ended.

 Source

For knowledge I hunger and thirst
So I pondered this month's 21st.
Spent so much time tryin'
To understand Mayan
Apoc'lypse, but it was the worst.


It's Mad Kane's fault.

Mad Kane's Limerick Off - Blue

Check it out and play along here.

Source

BLUE LIMERICK

A blue-eyed woman wore blue
Persistently: thus en la nu
She was ever so bold
To go bare in the cold
When her bosom and butt turned blue too

~  ~  ~

Picture Found Here

GO BLUE LIMERICK

A woman who always wore blue
Was a Wolverines fan - sad, but true
She dated a fellow
Who always wore yellow.
And when the Buckeyes won they cried, boo-hoo.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Reduced to a haiku

 You can take a thing
Too far and then play a sad
Rhapsodie in Blue

A Pome Routine in Oz

Our 12-year-old granddaughter Rebekka just landed a role as a featured apple tree in The Wizard of Oz.  Hence this entry.

A POME ROUTINE IN OZ

I never thought that I would see
Our fair Rebekka as a tree,

A tree that's simply standing there
A nest of apples in her hair;

A tree who barely gets to know
Dorothy and her pal Scarecrow

As they skip along one day,
They take an apple, refuse to pay,

And in their greed, insult the trees.
So throw your fruit at such as these.

Such trespassers you cannot please
So stay with your best friends -- the trees.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Reduced to a Haiku

Dorothy and her
Brainless friend tricked apple trees
Into feeding them

 ~  ~  ~

Update: Another Haiku,

Inspired by Tigerbrite

Scarecrows

Sometimes they escape
Wander down a yellow road
Try to steal apples.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Carpe Diem Special #12

100WCGU #69

This week's prompt is the word pair " .  .  . Bah  Humbug!  .  .  ."

I sheepishly offer my response to this challenge, in exactly 99 words.


THE WOLLENSPOOF SONG

To the stables down at Scrooge’s
To the place where Scroogie shears
To the dear Old Time Pole Barn we love so well

Sing the Wollenspoofs assembled
With their hooves all raised on high
And the magic of their bleating casts its spell

Yes, the magic of their bleating of songs Scroogie loves so well
"Shall I foreclose" and "You owe me" and the rest
We will serenade our Scroogie while life and voice shall last
Then we'll we’ll go and become mutton with the rest

We're poor little lambs who have lost our way
Baa, Bah, Humbug!

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Update: If anyone doesn't get the reference, they are to Ebeneezer Scrooge and The Wiffenpoof Song.

What I didn't realize is that what I've done here is a parody of a parody.  Welcome to the parody parade.

Visual Dare 33 -- Timing

Angela must spend the rest of the week searching for these enigmatic pictures.

This week's challenge is titled TIMING.

Photo source

TIMING

Two-four, four-four, three-four, six-eight, nine-eight, twelve-eight, even fifteen-eight [that rascal Debussy.*]

All the time I spent practicing all those times.

Now it's my time!

And here's the train to Carnegie Hall, right on time.

"All, aboard then, step in time."

Wait  -- what!?!  Where is my cello?

Oh, sh  .  .  .

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

*The first two of a smattering of distinctive 15/8 measures sprinkled throughout this Nocturne occur from 47 to 51 seconds in this video.  They are basically equivalent to eighth note triplets in 5/4 time.  It was my great pleasure to perform this piece last Friday.  We didn't get a lot of notes in the trombone section, and the 15/8 measures were a big help in locating my entrances.

Point of clarification - this is not our performace.  We don't YouTube.

Saturday June 9, 2012
Festival Concert Hall, Round Top, TX
Texas Festival Orchestra
Pascal Verrot, conductor

12/13 Update:  If you've come along this far, do yourself a favor and follow along here for something completely celloistically different.

100WCGU -- #69

This time the prompt is a picture 

DARK CHOCOLATE

Ah what wondrous heavenly delight
That I would place into my eager mouth

You know I know you want to take that last
Smooth (creamy and dark on the outside)

Crunchy (from the almond deep within)
Morsel on your eager tongue as well

But suppose that I would get there first
Place the chocolate lovingly inside

Would you moue your lovely tasty lips
To form a petulant and sulky pout

Or press them up so thoughtfully to mine
Hoping to obtain a lover's share

Of a sweet and co-indulgent treat

 ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

This comes in at 90 words. I had to - with great reluctance - delete what was originally the 2nd couplet, since that took it to 104.  Alas and alack.

Better still with almonds at the core
You will, my dear, most certainly agree

Though, upon further reflection, it does seem unnecessary to the final product.  Still, without it, I never would have put it all together.

Triple Visual Dare Number 4 Plus SHW

Angela threw down the gauntlet this time and, mixing metaphors, sought to snare us with a tricky collection of presumably intractable photos.  But I was up well past midnight blogging the Crossword puzzle, and in the wee hours my addled brain takes off in even weirder flights of fancy.  This time it's 92 words.

Source

Source

Source

THE RAVIN'

Though he promised, "Nevermore!"
That damned raven's at my door.

So quickly, now, my little men
Before he flies away again,

Bring to me my sharpened snips
To give his wings some grounding clips.

But with his feathers ebon dark
There's no use for a pencil mark.

Imagine how he’ll raving sing
When I bob his raven wing.

Then when he can no more fly
I will bake him in a pie.

And when his evil, awful caws
No longer echo in my halls --
I'll resume my favorite pass time:
Sniffing walls.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Reduced for Sensational Haiku Wednesday

REACTION

Again the Raven comes
Spoiling my tranquility.
This time I'm ready!

Triple Visual Dare #2 Plus Sensational Haiku Wednesday

Find this week's TVD challenge here.  The SHW prompt is FIERCE!

The picture prompts [see the challenge link for photo credits]:

And now for something completely different - in exactly 100 words!

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

AN ODD DAY IN OZ

Elpheba wasn't going to fall into the same trap her sister did, so she cast a potent repelling spell at the rapidly descending house.

In the stress and strain of competing forces, the structure was rent asunder.

Zebra Boy wandered through the rubble, running his nimble fingers over various ruined items: twisted plumbing fixtures, half an old wall clock with a wall chunk still attached, bits of masonry and wood.

"Hey, kid," Elpheba hollered, "get out of there.  What do think you're doing?"

"Mind your own bee's wax, Lady, " Zebra Boy retorted, "I was just feeling a little board."

~  ~  ~  ~  ~ 

And, since I am never above mixing my memes --

The story reduced to a Haiku:

FIERCE

Home wrecker yells at
Strange little kid; he hurls back
A verbal brickbat.

Update: Here is some history on the word "brickbat."

Mad Kane's Limerick Off

My entry.

A woman was putting on airs
In lieu of her clothing. “Who cares?”
She said, “without frocks,
I’ll display all my locks.
Don’t like it? Then never watch bares!”

Read all about it here.

But wait - there's more!