The Lighter Side of JzB

Here you will find photos, poetry, and possibly some light-hearted foolishness. For the Heavier Side
of JzB see my other blog, Retirement Blues. (There be dragons!)

I claim copyright and reserve all rights for my original material of every type and genre.


Every day visits*
From Moose, Goose, and Orb Weaver
All seized by Haiku

"Why moose and goose?" you may ask. Back on 2/04/13 Pirate wrote a haiku with an elk in it, and I responded with
one with a moose and then included him every day. A few days later in comments Mystic asked "Where's the goose?"
So I started including her with this post on 2/07. A week later on the 14th, Mark Readfern
asked for and received a spider. The rest is history.

*Well, most days, anyway. Grant me a bit of poetic license.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Carpe Diem's Make the Haiku complete #2

The challenge this time is to complete a haiku left unfinished by Basho in 1690.   The intense difficulty stems from the fact the the first two lines have no obvious connection - in fact it's hard to even relate them to each other in a coherent way.

The first line is so evocative of loss, or at least unfulfillment.  Is the wife on a trip, has she left the implied speaker, or died?  Has he never had a wife and wishes he did?  So many possibilities, and none of them happy.   I have a feeling there is something symbolic about the bamboo grass of line two that is outside of my knowledge base.  And grass diving - what does that even mean?

So - a tough challenge; but I'm taking it seriously.

Basho's unfinished haiku:

tsuma kou te nezasa kazuku ya ..............

 missing a wife
the bamboo grass dives under
.............................



My attempt at completion:

 missing a wife
the bamboo grass dives under
her departing steps



Carpe Diem's Make the Haiku complete #2

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3 comments:

  1. ChèvrefeuilleOctober 22, 2013 at 4:43 AM

    It's a difficult to adjust 'unfinished' haiku ... This one was indeed difficult to complete JzB. Others also said that. Maybe the 'ya', a kireji or cuttingword, can be of help. 'ya' means that another 'image' may follow ... I think you did a great job on this one. I like that third line ... and I think Basho would like it too. Thank you for participating in this challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Reading PleasureOctober 22, 2013 at 6:02 AM

    Amazing completion, Jazzbumpa.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Siggi in Downeast MaineOctober 22, 2013 at 11:49 PM

    Now that's a good finish..
    thank you
    Peace
    Siggi

    ReplyDelete

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