It is based on the haiku by Basho, seen below.
This took a light-hearted turn that surprised me.
I always strive to have proper form: phrase and fragment structure and 1st-3rd line interchangeability.
The last one took some effort, but I think I got there. Actually, I think it works better 3rd line first.
~:~
on the river
lights float to the horizon
the dead rejoice
© Basho
on the river
children dangle their bare feet
fish nibble on toes
lights float to the horizon
as children stare in awe
a phalanx of fireflies
the dead rejoice
on the bank of the river
on the bank of the river
lively children frolic
~:~
You brought a flash back to my own childhood swimming in a local farm pond. The tickle of the minnows on my arms and legs!
ReplyDeleteHope that flash black was enjoyable.
DeleteWhen we were at Black Lake this summer, I sat on the dock and minnows would nibble at my toes.
Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have thought of this.
Namaste
JzB
Wonderful Troiku ...
ReplyDeleteNice troiku, you brought me there:)
ReplyDeleteNicely done!
ReplyDelete