The Lighter Side of JzB

Here you will find photos, poetry, and possibly some light-hearted foolishness. For the Heavier Side
of JzB
see my other blog,
Retirement Blues. (There be dragons!)

I claim copyright and reserve all rights for my original material of every type and genre.


Every day visits*
From Moose, Goose, and Orb Weaver
All seized by Haiku


"Why moose and goose?" you may ask. Back on 2/04/13 Pirate wrote a haiku with an elk in it, and I responded with
one with a moose and then included him every day. A few days later in comments Mystic asked "Where's the goose?"
So I started including her with this post on 2/07. A week later on the 14th, Mark Readfern
asked for and received a spider. The rest is history.

*Well, most days, anyway. Grant me a bit of poetic license.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

CD Haiku Writing Techniques #4


I guess this is that "AHA! moment, or the epiphany.   I notice in the example an obvious kigo, and phrase plus fragment structure, but the absence of 1st-3rd line interchangeability.  I guess you can't have everything every time.  Should the surprise be the entire moment captured by the haiku, or the 3rd line in the context of the first two?  I'm not sure that question has an answer.  What do you think?

autumn wind
trying to keep myself
under my hat

© John Stevenson

Here, at least part of the surprise is the humerous idea of staying under the hat, rather than keeping the hat from blowing away - a clever twist. 


~~::~::~~


Maybe these are senryu

looking at her
so lovely across the room
she looks back at me

~:~

 stealing that first kiss
what will she think of me now
the tip of her tongue

~:~

on a winter night
she brings me her best gift
sweet cherry blossom

~:~

We have a wooden front door with a glass storm door facing south.  As I write this, it is 19 degrees outside (-7 C) with bright sun.  On days like this, if I don't open the wooden door to let the heat escape into house, the door will get so hot I can smell the rosin vaporizing from the wood.


the deep snow blanket
glistening white in my yard
glare of winter sun

 ©JzB


8 comments:

  1. Wow ... that heat/rosin exchange is surprising indeed .... despite the cold outside too. Interesting.

    As to whether these are haiku or senryu? Aw, heck ... I have no idea anymore! ;) Since you added the cherry blossoms I'll say "haiku" regardless of any hidden meaning. :) A great series, either way --- really enjoying them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought Jane Reichhold settled that haiku/senryu debate in one of her columns, saying, in effect, "There ain't no such thing as senryu, it's all haiku."

      Delete
  2. Oh i would not care about senryu or haiku.. it is whatever we feel it to bee.. They are sweet though I think.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a wonderful trio of haiku JzB ... all full of surprise ... thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. beautifully conveyed whether senryu or haiku

    cold today
    warmed by scent of heat
    wooden door

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice, Moonie.

      Same way today again.

      Cheers!
      JzB

      Delete
  5. Thanks all

    I guess I was in a romantic mood

    Cheers!
    JzB

    ReplyDelete

This is a fun blog. Light-hearted banter is welcome. Snark is not. If you want to fight, find my other blog.

Play nice, and we'll all have fun.

I like to return visit, when I can - but I need to find you. If you have multiple blogs, please leave a direct link to the appropriate post.

Cheers!
JzB