The Lighter Side of JzB

Here you will find photos, poetry, and possibly some light-hearted foolishness. For the Heavier Side
of JzB
see my other blog,
Retirement Blues. (There be dragons!)

I claim copyright and reserve all rights for my original material of every type and genre.


Every day visits*
From Moose, Goose, and Orb Weaver
All seized by Haiku


"Why moose and goose?" you may ask. Back on 2/04/13 Pirate wrote a haiku with an elk in it, and I responded with
one with a moose and then included him every day. A few days later in comments Mystic asked "Where's the goose?"
So I started including her with this post on 2/07. A week later on the 14th, Mark Readfern
asked for and received a spider. The rest is history.

*Well, most days, anyway. Grant me a bit of poetic license.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Carpe Diem #243, companions


Guess who?


~ 1 ~

at carpe diem
far flung haijin gather
and share their souls


~ 2 ~

traveling together
on life's bumpy twisting road
companions in love


~ 3 ~

old man is happy
as he navigates this path
not to be alone


~ 4 ~

to be with her
makes me be a better me
the best companion

~ 5 ~

moose and goose
magically mystically
together as friends


~ 6~

alone on her web
orb weaver waits hungry
has no need of friends

~~::~~

Carpe Diem #243


A comment on comments:

Like most of you, I suspect, I write for my own reasons, and they are deeply personal.  I am also continuously self-evaluating.  But that is a reflection in a fun-house mirror.  Feed back is helpful, and if it's critical - well that helps me stay both grounded and humble [not that a trombone player has a great need for other humility prompts.] 

And, while its nice to know that some of you appreciate my writing, the real reason I want comments is not for accolades, but for what we get from today's prompt.  I love the Carpe Diem community, and if you comment you give me confirmation that we are both a part of it.   Otherwise, I might just feel like a voice crying out in the wilderness. [And yes, I have filled that roll, as well.]

Also, I encourage you to be critical, in a friendly way.   If something I write is awful, feel free to let me know in as much or as little detail as you are willing to spend time on.

Also, when I leave a comment for you, know that it is sincere, even if it is only a single word.

I appreciate all your visits.

Namaste.


17 comments:

  1. The mood of warmth, the feeling of love and care is woven through this collection. My favourite...yes, "makes me be a better me" for sure :)

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  2. One of the biggest challenges with this month's prompts is that they're not concrete nouns. We have a whole month of ideas, ideologies and intangible nouns.

    These prompts are tricky in that they invite people to get really flowery, clever, wax poetic, and TELL. All haiku pitfalls.


    Take your haiku #3 about the old man. There is room for improvement, here. We are told he's happy and we are told in a complete sentence.


    I like the idea of navigating his path but I am not sure what it means in relation to loneliness. How does one navigate a path to not be alone? What does that mean in concrete terms? Find phyical observable examples.


    And how can we SHOW he's happy and not lonely? And how can we break this poetic sentence into two parts--the fragment and the phrase?

    reflecting pool...
    an old man smiles
    at a familiar face


    Granted, it's not perfect. It needs work. It might eve be cliche (done by many before) But it is no longer a complete sentence. It has a fragment "reflecting pool" and the phrase "an old man smiles at a familiar face." It now shows happiness (the smile) rather than tells and the "familiar face" is a companion of sorts.

    Anyway, that's my .02 cents. I am sure 100 people can read a poem and rewrite 100 ways and another 100 people will think its fine as is and another 100 people would say it's dreck. Everyone has an opinon. So take mine with a grain of salt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lolly -

      I'm happy to have your opinions, and you've given me a lot to think about.

      I see now that each of these is a tell.

      Cheers!
      JzB

      Delete
    2. Is "Dreck" a Lovely Word? :)

      My friend, it is not always easy to show, rather than tell. Do not be disheartened. I'm not, for you have "magically, mystically" woven me into your tale! :)

      Delete
  3. First - the photo - It's PERFECT!!! Second the poems - When I visit you I always feel better after reading your tiny tales. You have a gift of weaving so much wisdom into a few words! I feel great affection for moose and goose, for the old man and I'm even warming up to the spider, (sort of) Third - your comment on comments - Like all your comments I've ever read, you are right on the money! So happy to be in the same 'community' with you!

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  4. I loved each of your creations. They all put forth a clear imagery.

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  5. I'm new to the community. This is my 4th time posting, I think, and I too am enjoying the variety of people and their interpretation of the prompts. I'm learning from everyone. I especially like your last one about the spider. Not sure what that says about me. :) But all of yours are lovely in their sentiment.

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  6. You've open up so much wit in your offerings. And they're normally in multiples. One feels at ease and keep laughing at the same time. Great write JzB!

    Hank

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  7. All sweet and so loving. You even got MMT in there ;-O I love that you feel your wife makes you a better person...besties forever. Also adore the first one - this community of souls.

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    Replies
    1. Thanx.

      I owe the goose to MMT.

      Cheers!
      JzB

      Delete
  8. I especially like the one about the Carpe Diem community, and thanks for clarifying your wishes for comment types. Like you, I only make sincere comments on things but sometimes will not say anything if I think something needs improvement--some people do not want that and are offended. Good to know your wishes.

    Some of these are tells in a less than helpful way, but the first one is merely descriptive and suggests something larger--I recently read Jane Reichhold's book on writing haiku, and that is one way to write them. I like the first one a lot.

    One thing I try to do on words like this (or anytime I catch myself just telling) is to find an image that tells the story for me and then to describe the image (but don't tell us how to feel--we can get there ourselves). Hope that helps :)

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  9. ever the romantic, I love the second one best. The are all great in my opinion. While we strive to adhere to the rather rigid rules of original haiku, I believe there is avant- garde haiku too. And that leaves much room for creativity. Kudos, Jrb.

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  10. What an exploration of the various ways companionship manifests itself!

    Companions for the Journey

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  11. I love the old man's appearances JzB, he seems to have had an interesting journey and I'm so pleased he has a companion to share it with :)

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  12. sometimes feeling the 'pressure' to comment on all submissions, I am not as thoughtful or critical as I could be....One thing I do believe - reading haiku from others, whether mediocre or grand, has helped me become better at this form....I enjoy the comments, but rarely receive much constructive criticism....And i think we all know when our work is good or not....

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  13. That first haiku makes me proud. I am so glad that you feel that way for the sake of Carpe Diem. You share another nice series of haiku with us all. That fourth haiku touched me deep and right in my heart.

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  14. I love the first one.. It makes me feel warm inside. And I really adore how we can grow together. I really like Lolly's comment here. How can we grow even more together... To be able to declare I am a haiku poet... The third one touched me the most. The thought is excellent and touching.

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This is a fun blog. Light-hearted banter is welcome. Snark is not. If you want to fight, find my other blog.

Play nice, and we'll all have fun.

I like to return visit, when I can - but I need to find you. If you have multiple blogs, please leave a direct link to the appropriate post.

Cheers!
JzB