I was looking forward to today's prompt with almost frantic eagerness, hoping I could use one of them without too much of a force fit. I think this works.
DETOUR
With a smile and a contented sigh, Gil's wife comments on how much more ardent his love making has become.
She doesn't realize that at those most intimate moments, when Gil gazes deep into the beauty of her doe-like eyes, he is haunted by thoughts of Marci.
She isn't aware that, since that chance encounter at the pharmacy, Gil's thoughts keep returning, unbidden, to long-ago memories of Marci's moist lips, subtle curves, and tender moans.
She doesn't know that in the midst of their seemingly perfect marriage, Gil is now conflicted.
She must never find out that Gil sometimes goes miles out of his way, and drives past Marci's apartment, just hoping to get a glimpse of her.
What a delicious follow-up! I do hope that we find out more about Gil and his conflict. Very nice!
ReplyDeleteWow! Gil needs to take stock and decide what he really wants. Nicely staged.
ReplyDeleteooooh interesting!! want to know more :P good story enjoyed reading it
ReplyDeleteOh, well now. She needs to get a clue.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one who's been haunted by a 5SF character!
This is surely a common occurrence in marriages that lack true passion. If we could figure out a way to preserve passion in long term marriages, we would not only witness a revolution of positive, creative, productive energy in out society, but also we would become very very wealthy. What is the damned secret?!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to more of your work!
What she doesn't know won't hurt her, but it's not looking so good for the future. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh! Talk about secrets. I really enjoyed this... Hope Gil man's up because emotionally he's gone.
ReplyDeleteSeems like Gil has broken the cardinal rule - never fall in love with the "sideline"... because it seems like that's what's happened.
ReplyDeleteGreat take on the prompt.
Thanks for all these terrific comments.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, I don't where Gil's head and heart are at the moment.
I doubt he's fallen in love with the sideline, though. He's distracted and itchy, for sure, but that might just be a where-is-the-grass-greener problem.
Whether this story line gets developed any further is up to Gil (that is if he'll let me rest) and the prompts, I guess.
Then again, it might be up to Marci . . .
Cheers!
JzB
I went back and read the "Devotion" piece. This is a great follow-up. It looks like Gil is heading into dangerous waters.
ReplyDeleteI'm worried for them now...but I would love to hear more!
ReplyDelete